Poems

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Son of Tubbs returns!
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Poems

Post by Son of Tubbs returns! » Sat Jan 08, 2005 4:14 pm

Now, i quite like Poems ( no sniggering at the back) So I thought a Poem thread would be good.

It can either be your own or someone elses you like.

I'll start off with a funny one by Craig Charles.


George McGee


I knew this kid at school,
by the name of George McGee.
He was always passing wind,
and blaming it on me.

He hit me in the classroom,
and he'd hit me in PE,

Like he'd wait for me to get the ball,
When we were playing in the gym.
He'd either push me over
or kick me in the shin.

He was that sort of kid.

The sort of kid who cheats at Conkers.
It wasn't totally his fault though,
His family was bonkers.

His Dad did his homework once,
It made a jealous sight.
that is until he got his book back,
And found it wasn't right

He was that sort of kid

The sort of kid who washes hamsters in Vim.
The doctors took him away,
and did some tests on him.

I haven't seem from that day to this
Until despite my pleading
The little Sneak
on Tuesday week.
He pulled me up for Speeding


There you are a quite jolly one to start! :lol:

Fat Pen

Post by Fat Pen » Sat Jan 08, 2005 5:04 pm

The milk I drink is rancid,
It goes inside of me,
And after one great retch,
My stomach acid's free.

It splashes on the floor,
An awful brownish green,
Nothing will remove it,
Not even Mr. Sheen.

The vomit stains my clothing,
That gorgeous, pretty silk,
All because I drank
That awful rancid milk.

- By me :P

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Son of Tubbs returns!
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Post by Son of Tubbs returns! » Sat Jan 08, 2005 6:04 pm

Jolly good :lol:

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S
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Post by S » Sun Jan 09, 2005 11:01 am

this is good...

Of Course I Love You

How can you doubt that I love you?
Didn't I marry you, eh?
And though I don't say it too often,
I show it in all sorts of ways.

I'd take you out dining and dancing...
Can you find me a mountain to climb?
An ocean to cross? A boulder to toss?
I'd do them if I had the time.

I'd give you the shirt off me back, love,
I'd give you me last pair of socks;
And last time we went into town, love,
Didn't I buy you a frock?

I let you go home nice and early,
So you have the time to cook tea;
Remember that sometimes on Sundays
I give you the afternoon free.

I tell you when you're being bitchy,
I notice when you're getting fat;
I give you free rein in my tool shed,
I let you wear my fav'rite hat.

So next time you're thinkin' of leaving,
Remember that I think yer great;
And though there are times when yer grumpy...
Fair dinkum, yer still me best mate.

Who else would I trust with the cheque book?
And who else knows just what I like?
And when there are paddocks to muster
Who else but you borrows my bike?

I'll eat humble pie if I have to,
I'll say that I've been a right jerk,
I'll tell you I love you; I've done it: okay?
Now bloody-well come back to work.

:D

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Post by Morti » Mon Jan 10, 2005 12:37 am

By Sharon Olds,

Rite of Passage

As the guests arrive at my son's party
they gather in the living room -
short men, men in first grade
with smooth jaws and chins.
hands in pockets, they stand around
jostling, jockeying for place, small fights
breaking out and calming. One says to another
How old are you? Six. I'm seven. So?
They eye each other, seeing themselves
tiny in the other's pupils. They clear their throats
a lot, a room of small bankers,
they fold their arms and frown. I could beat you
up
, a seven says to a six,
the dark cake, round and heavy as a
turret, behind them on a table. My son,
freckles like specks of nutmeg on his cheeks,
chest narrow as the balsa keel of a
model boat, long hands
cool and thin as the day they guided him
out of me, speaks up as a host
for the rest of the group.
We could easily kill a two-year-old,
he says in his clear voice. The other
men agree, they clear their throats
like Generals, they relax and get down to
playing war, celebrating my son's life.
Revenge is better than Christmas...

"I'm lying there thinking: 'Will this pleasure never end?'"

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mama lazarou
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Post by mama lazarou » Mon Jan 10, 2005 2:44 pm

one of my favourite poems is the Raven by Edgar Allan Poe but it's too long to post.

steph x
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Post by Son of Tubbs returns! » Mon Jan 10, 2005 7:28 pm

That is so Good Morti!

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Post by Morti » Tue Jan 11, 2005 1:20 am

Son of Tubbs returns! wrote:That is so Good Morti!
I love the poem, photocopied it years back when I did a Creative Writing course, coz I liked it so much and didn't want to lose it.

Here's another one of my faves, I think it's kinda twee!

By Maxwell Thurlow

Who Chose Their Body?


We live inside a body, do you think that's true?
When I look across the room, do I see you or you?

Each time we use a mirror, who is it looking through?
It is the eyes that hold the clue, it's in your eyes that I see you.

We live inside our body, it came as clothes at birth.
There to serve our mission while we're here on earth.

How do we look upon this body we have got?
Do we breathe a prayer of thanks, or moan about our lot?

When we look upon it, do we think it's us,
or realise we dwell within it, no need to fret or fuss.

It matters not what shape we are, nor the colour of our skin.
Just the choice we each may make to live good lives, or sin.

If we care about another's wants and needs,
Bringing joy and happiness, banish selfish deeds.

Out lives take on a richer glow, our soul within grows strong.
Learning what we came to do, follow right from wrong.

The deeds that people do are all that make them good or bad,
not where they live or tongue they speak or culture they have had.

If there are some whose eyes are shut to beauty that's inside.
Their ignorance will one day end, they'll see the light they hide.

Until that day comes in their life, a stumbling road they'll tread.
Don't anger feel at how they are, pity them instead.

One day no matter how they've lived or vile deeds they have done,
their souls will know and when new-born, account for every one.

Spending life without a thought for other's joy and pain,
is only putting off the day when you'll return again
to live through life and lessons learn that now you failed to do.
You'll have to spend more time on earth within some body new.

So now recall and look inside your own and others' skin.
Listen to your heart, not head accept and learn to know
and love what dwells within.
Revenge is better than Christmas...

"I'm lying there thinking: 'Will this pleasure never end?'"

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Post by misstoadfacedenton » Sun Jan 16, 2005 10:09 pm

you know there's a saying....

"when the sh*t's been s*at,
in a big brown hat..."

okay, not really a poem, but it's a real gude treat!
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mama lazarou
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Post by mama lazarou » Mon Jan 17, 2005 2:49 pm

ouuu I agree, maybe someone could continue it, then it would be a poem.

steph x
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Mr Inglebury\'s neice

Poems

Post by Mr Inglebury\'s neice » Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:04 am

I have been known to pen the odd poem, but their usually morbid affairs so I won't inflict them on you .

Ode to the sun worshiper

Hooray! Hooray!
The sun is bright
time to top up your tan
What a delight!

Don't slap on
any factor seven
Just laze on a beach
What perfect heaven

And when your skin
is all blistering and raw
Hire a deckchair
and go back for more!



Tee Hee.

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Post by Tender_Lumpling » Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:17 pm

I write loads of rubbish poetry, I love it (writing it obviously, not the fact it's rubbish)! I linked my journal here and I know a couple of people read my "Dave" poem. Mostly my stuff is either very dark or just plain weird. This is my latest one, sung to the tune of Spiderman.

Splat!

Spiderman, Spiderman
Does whatever a spider can
Climbing far, way up high
Touching buildings in the sky
Look out! Here comes a big jet plane!

Spiderman, Spiderman
Squashed like a bug was Spiderman
Serves him right, the cocky git
Wasn't looking, he got hit
Look out! Here come his crushed remains!
"How I feel in my mind
And how I live in the world
They are oceans apart"

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Post by Judee Levinson » Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:23 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

great poem, tender lumpling!
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Post by misstoadfacedenton » Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:27 pm

teeheehee, i like it TL! :lol:
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Debbie Harry Secombe

Post by Debbie Harry Secombe » Sun Apr 17, 2005 3:06 pm

Mary was a virgin,
Joseph built a shelf,
Jesus was a black girl,
Shitting in god's mouth.

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