Why do you do this to me, Alex O'Loughlin. Why? Why? What did I ever do to you? You're supposed to be a beefcake. You're supposed to be my slick vampire love God. Now you have to go on and make me fancy yet another dork?
I trusted you, Alex O'Loughlin. You betrayed me. Now I fancy nothing BUT dorks. And you're playing a serial killer dork, to boot. Plus I like Criminal Minds, so I'm going to have to watch you being a serial kiler dork.
Oh my golly, that's like my mom's boyfriend. She's obsessed!
Me on the other hand fancies Rufus Sewell.
Oh Mr Sewell, may I call you Rufus? Rufus, why is one of your eyes closed more then the other? Is it because you suggestively wink at me all the time? Let's do things together that result in making babies.