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Ollie Plimsoles

Name:Ollie Plimsoles
Role: Legs Akimbo Dance Theatre 'Boss'
Best Dressed Presenter: Andi Peters
Reviews: "My Can of Can't has more talent!", "I want to leave"

Reece Shearsmith
The next production will be:

A NIGHT WITH OLLIE PLIMSOLES (Not for the faint hearted)

The night Ollie found out that his wife had moved another woman into their marital home is one he will never forget - Unfortunately nor will anyone who comes into contact with him.

It started badly enough when he said to her "Let's go out and have some fun tonight!" She thought it was a brilliant idea but asked him to make sure he left the hall light on if he got back first. He phoned Dave and Phill to see if they wanted to go out but it seemed they had other plans. Dave was washing his hair and Phill was watching some paint dry so Ollie had to go all by himself.

He staggered home after a couple of pints to find that his wife wasn't out at all but she had invited a guest to stay and they were getting very friendly too. Ollie thought it was another man at first but was shocked to the core when he found out it was (In his words) 'A big lezzer wearing his slippers and smoking his pipe.' His wife said to him "What do you think you are playing at coming home half drunk - Did you run out of money or something?" She then passed him a mug of coffee but he drank a mouthful and spat it out complaining that it wasn't fit for a pig to drink "No problem!" she replied "I'll go and make you some that is."

He saw this as an opportunity to question the 'other woman' by saying "You are more hairy than Barbara - have you ever been mistaken for a man?" "NO" she growled "Have you?" His wife came back with the coffee and he accused her of only loving him because his father left him some money. She looked at him and said "Not at all, I would have loved you no matter who had left you the money!"

It was a dark, cold, lonely night in the Legs Akimbo van but at least he had another dramatic tale to make another production of.

Profile by 'Saucy Sal'

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Ollie Plimsoles Quotes
  • "You may have remembered us from a couple of Christmasses ago when we did 'White Chocolate', a play about racism!"
  • "Now dikes on the other hand are evil!"

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