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Dr Matthew Chinnery

Name:Dr Matthew Chinnery
Occupation: (Crap) Vet
Success Rate: 0% All victims died (or in the case of Barbara ended up badly disfigured).
Excuse: Curse on his family going back generations

Mark Gatiss
Dr Chinnery is the most mild mannered, softly spoken, caring gentleman you could ever wish to meet (well this is Royston Vasey we are talking about) providing you are not one of his patients.

He did stand in for Barbara's surgeon who was off sick the day she should have had her sex-change operation. The last image Barbara saw before the anaesthetic kicked in was Dr Chinnery grinning down at her with a huge pair of garden shears in his hands. Barbara was later rejected from a freak show because the owners were horrfied by the cock-up!

His other mistakes were putting the famers dog to sleep only to find it was the wrong dog, blasting compressed air into a pet tortoise which shot out of its shell and ended up in a window cleaners bucket, pulling the intestines out of a cow instead of delivering its calf and putting a falcon on a lead which was too long and it ended up electrocuting itself and its owner (a little boy) when it got caught up in electricity pylons.

None of the animals in his care survived but after all there are plenty more fish in the sea as he once pointed out after electrocuting a pond full. He certainly is not the Harold Shipman of the animal world because there is absolutely no malice in him. He is just not cut out to be a vet. It could be worse he could have been a brain surgeon, then heads would definitely have rolled.

Profile by 'Saucy Sal'

Plenty more fish in the sea

Dr Matthew Chinnery Quotes
  • "I'm afraid there have been one or two... complications."
  • "Yes I think it's going to be hard to separate them."

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